I have been wrestling recently with a season of life that did not end well nor as I expected or hoped. Truthfully it was terrible. Among other things I grieve because the decisions of others put me in a position where I was robbed of a year of one of my children’s lives. The details aren’t important – the sense of being violated, cheated, and robbed is.
The post-traumatic season in which I find myself now haunts me with the need to forgive. I want justice for what was done to me and to my family… I want restitution for what was lost… I want things to be made right.
But nothing can un-rob me or my loved ones. Not forgiving robs me of the peace, the joy, the happiness that the current season of life is bringing. Not forgiving doesn’t only rob me of something in my past – it robs me of something in the present and the future.
Today I came to the realization that forgiveness begins the process that robs this past pain instead of it robbing me. It robs those memories of their control over me. It robs those feelings of the ability to fill and mar my life in the now. Forgiveness robs those whom I hold responsible from having any further influence in my life. Or control over my future.
I am working on this forgiveness stuff. Jesus’ words that sound so simple (for instance, ““If you forgive others their sins, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” Matthew 6L14 CEB) also carry such power. It is not easy to forgive. But unforgiveness robs me of my own opportunity to experience forgiveness from God and others.
I am going to keep working at being the robber of the past’s power. Today that robbery is forgiveness.